Bad Thoughts

What has happened to my life?
There is no time for me anymore and if I do get a break, I'm too exhausted to know what to do with it
Am I even allowed a life of my own?
I’m not coping
I’m lonely and so, so tired
Why can’t anyone see how much we’re struggling?
Why do all the services rely on me to sort it all out?
There is no-one to help
There is no-one else who can do this though
Whatever I do, it’s not enough but I am broken just trying to keep on top of things
It can’t carry on like this, but I can't see any end to it
I can't do enough to make it all right for him, I am failing him
I feel so guilty
Sometimes I hate Nick and I wish he wasn't there 
I am a horrible person to have these thoughts 
Shut up and keep going.