Friday

The Power of Connection

A friend pops round to visit. She had only texted to catch up as we hadn’t connected for a while and she probably hadn’t counted on me replying straight away with an anguished blurt about how freaked out and frightened I was feeling and how lonely and exhausted. We are old friends though and we don’t have to mince words. But I am not used to knowing how to talk about my feelings anymore, because frankly Nick doesn’t need to know that I’m feeling so stressed since he’s been in Sheffield. God knows, he has enough to deal with.
So I immediately send a second text apologizing for my outburst.

She comes over for a quick cup of tea and Nick perks up at once. His involuntary movements seem calmer than usual and they have a really nice exchange. She’s one of those people who instinctively draws others out and asks the right questions and I see Nick almost as his old winning self. It’s so good when he can chat with people who just look him in the eye and talk as equals. It’s sad to say but that isn’t always the way. I do think some people are a bit scared and I really don’t blame them. Half of the time I’m scared too. But when a relaxed, equal conversation happens it seems to just smooth everything else out and makes things feel Ok again. Manageable.