I
get in the car and drive into town to pick up a delivery. There’s an old tune
playing on the radio that I used to dance to in my glory days, the sun is
warming up the day and I can roll down the car windows with the flick of a
switch. The roads are clear and I’m feeling well for the first time in a couple
of weeks. I slept well and woke early and lazed in bed for a while with coffee
and a really good book. I realise how very, very lucky I am.
Yesterday
was a bad day and I’m still feeling a wee bit tender around the edges from it,
not really wanting to say much or hang out with people (though no choice there
as it happens to be a busy weekend and my husband’s birthday, with several
outings planned for Nick. But it’s OK. Today is a new day and everyone is safe
– that’s my mantra these days.)
Although
I was exhausted and despairing yesterday, I’ve woken up with some new ideas
about the drawings I want to do and what I’m going to do with them, and one way
or another how I will make the time to begin.
They
might not be going very fast or far right now but I’ve not lost sight of my
dreams, and I’ve got the sketchbook open on my desk to prove it.
It
all helps to re-charge my batteries some more to be a better sister to Nick and
keep bashing on. And, since I'm conscious of Nick's own dreams too, I want to live mine as best I can for his sake as well as my own - I don't know why but it seems important.
Do
you have dreams, dear reader? Whether you’re a carer or not, we all have those
heart longings for the thing you wanted to do since you were a child; so few of
us actually do them, yet I believe while those dreams persist, there is always hope.
How
do you keep your dreams alive? That’s what I want to know from other carers.
