Hey!
Sheffield City Council! Thank you for teaching me the virtue of patience while
I wait on hold as you search for any record of our previous conversation.
There’ve
been a few of those so I can see why it might be confusing.
But look,
don’t worry that your staff didn’t turn up for their appointment yesterday to
take that spare bed away from my brother’s flat. They didn’t leave a message or
anything so maybe something awful had happened, do let me know you’re OK, won’t
you? It was so thoughtful of you to give us a generous two hour appointment slot but explain that
the men could come in even if my brother didn’t hear the buzzer, because they have the keysafe number. It's so reassuring to think that they can come in any time!
Oh, and
that other no-show appointment the other week? The one to fix the wonky handle
on my brother’s bathroom door? The one you didn’t think was much of an
emergency, and obviously you’re the council so you know best. I’m just a boring
old health & safety nut with nothing better to do than think ahead, I know,
silly me, still you were kind enough to agree to send your repairs team for a
look.
That must
have been another time when something awful happened to prevent anyone coming
when they said they would, or getting in touch. You poor things! So accident
prone! Well don’t worry about that, as you’ll know by now, the Citywide Alarm
Team managed to get him out when the handle came off altogether and he was
stuck in the bathroom - he was fine, nothing else broken, just the door and a
few little bruises.
Oh and these
phone calls? I hope I’m not being a nuisance? Sorry if I’m keeping you away
from more important things you should be doing. It’s just that as I was saying,
I’ve got nothing better to do all day and it helps to while away the time. And it’s
so cheap to call you, too!
Anyway,
thanks for all your help. And for that lovely soothing music you’ve been
playing while I’m on hold on the phone. So thoughtful. You make me feel
special, like you really care.
